I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Randomize
