i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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