What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
