For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Semen is not good for contacts.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
