She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
