Pappa wants mamma naked
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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