There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
