So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
