dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
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