We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize