new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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