you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
