is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
