All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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