I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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