I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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