Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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