Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
