oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Panties = found
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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