sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
