you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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