Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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