Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
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I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
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So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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