She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
