I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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