It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
