I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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