Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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