I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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