We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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