My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I looked at my own cervix.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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