After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
