All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
