I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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