Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize