He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
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getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
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Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize