You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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