Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
