new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
