Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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