even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
