i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
