She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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