There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
