She is in my trunk
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
