my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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