its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
did you just send me my own nude
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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