You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
