it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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