i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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