If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
