sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
