This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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