the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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