How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
