Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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