Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
