Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
