i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
