I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
