Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My ATM looks so different sober.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize