Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
