well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
